Are You Coming?


Between the sexes there are still injustices. Not only in content questions, but also in matters of Sex. In the science has been established for this purpose, the term “orgasm gap”. Based on the “pay gap” is how he describes the imbalance that women experience during sexual intercourse significantly less likely to have an orgasm than men.

Meanwhile, there are numerous studies that confirm the existence of the “orgasm gap”. One of the latest comes from the Chapman University from the USA. For the study, the scientists and scientists have in the year 2017, well 52.500 hetero – and homosexual women and men between the ages of 18 and 65 years were interviewed.

95 percent of the men coming during Sex

The result: women during sexual intercourse in the average, actually less often than men. The difference is especially great in the case of straight-sex couples: gave a good 95 percent of men to experience during Sex an orgasm, it was the women of just 65 percent.

“The reason is the neglect of the clitoris,” says Laurie Mintz, a Professor of psychology at the University of Florida and the author of the book “come in”. A Thesis is also confirmed by the study of Chapman University. Women who experienced Sex at the rarest of the peak, were mostly satisfied with just vaginal. The greatest opportunity to experience an orgasm, had, however those were also stimulated “manually and/or orally”.

Researchers of the Hamburg Institute for sexual research came in a representative survey from the year 2006 to a similar conclusion: an urge of the man only with the Penis in the woman, was just half of the women at last intercourse to orgasm come. The clitoris, however, was during the Sex is also stimulated, such as with the fingers, and increased the number to 65 percent in the case of the combination of Sex and oral intercourse-in fact, 76 percent.

This fact, companies make use of. So there are now Online platforms like “Oh my god yes” (OMGYes), which will explain to women how to touch themselves in order to come during Sex (with yourself or with a Partner), but also to vibrators such as the “Womanizer”.

Unlike most vibrators, it stimulates women, not by Penetration, but about the clitoris – specifically about the glans of the clitoris, so that small Knubbels, which is located between the inner labia. (More on the “Womanizer and co. you can read here.)

“Women with orgasm disorders, may help the Womanizer in fact, to overcome this,” says sex therapist Valk. The sun, among other things, to the very strong pressure waves emitted from the device, and that the Finger or the tongue, so do not imitate.

Some women have also problems, to touch themselves in the genital area. Also in this case, the Vibrator could be an Alternative, so Valk: “In these cases, it is then first a positive relationship to one’s own body to build up and get to know yourself.”

In the case of self-gratification, there is no “orgasm gap”

That sex toys, such as the Womanizer close to the “orgasm gap”, of which Valk is not convinced, however. Because vibrators it were, in the first instance to self-satisfaction and in this area it seems to be the disproportion of the sexes at all. The study by the Hamburg Institute for sexual research suggests. This shows a good 91 percent of the women interviewed to be able to your self a orgasm, for men it was 93 percent.

“Sexual equality manifests itself in the orgasm frequency, but in the inner attitude of two people and how they experience the common Sex,” says sex therapist Dorothea Perkusic. Just because someone had sexual intercourse always have an orgasm, this does not imply, finally, that the Sex will also be fulfilled by both as and satisfying experienced.

“Centering on the orgasm leads to Stress”

And even if Perkusic of the clitoris does not want to deny its importance to sexual Stimulation, so you see the increasing focus on the sexual organ is critical. “Real desire develops primarily through contact and not through pure Stimulation,” she says. Those who focus only on the clitoris and the orgasm, not forgetting all the other erogenous zones, but the Parties may also be under unnecessary pressure.

“The centering on the orgasm usually leads to more Stress than relief,” says sex therapist Valk. During intercourse with the Partner or the partner it is also is not always just the technology – that is to say, the neglect of the clitoris, the result is that some women do not get an orgasm. “Just as well, possible not is that in the relationship something is wrong.” Here, there is a need then there is no Vibrator, but it is an open discussion and, where appropriate, the willingness to work on the relationship. Because orgasm means losing control, and to be able to permit, need you to his a lot of confidence.

The importance of the relationship level for fulfilling Sex, also shows the study of Chapman University. Women, the information to fill in their relationship, were also more likely to have an orgasm.

This was the result of a study by the Population Research Institute in Finland from the year 2017, in the case of the six representative surveys were taken into account. Conclusion: contrary to expectations, the number of orgasms increased with the experience or the experiment itself. The decisive factor is the quality of the relationship was. This means that the partnership felt good and both were able to speak openly about their sexuality and their needs.

For vibrators, such as the Womanizer, this means: “Occasionally, you may use the sex toy like to,” says therapist Percusik, even with the Partner or the partner. You would advise women to be seen, however, such vibrators too regularly use. The pressure waves were very strong stimuli, which can make women less receptive to the touches of the partner and, in part, unrealistic expectations.


In summary: women experience significantly less likely to orgasm during Sex than men. In the case of self-gratification, this difference does not exist. According to sexual researchers, there are several explanations for the orgasm gap: The Stimulation of the clitoris, for example, is often neglected, and many women have difficulties to come solely through Penetration to climax. Therapists advise, however, to focus too much on the orgasm. Statistically speaking, women who feel comfortable in their relationship are more likely to have an orgasm.