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Hilaria Baldwin opened up about the difficult conversations she’s been having with her children in the wake of the fatal Rust shooting, when husband Alec Baldwin misfired a gun and killed cinematographer Halyna Hutchins. 

Hilaria shared her experience explaining the situation to her oldest children on her Dec. 1 Instagram Stories. The couple are parents to Carmen Gabriela, María Lucía Victoria, Rafael Thomas, Leonardo Ángel Charles, Romeo Alejandro David, and Eduardo Pao Lucas

In her Instagram Story, Baldwin penned a long, heartfelt message to followers — sharing a tool that has helped her as she starts the “heart wrenching” conversation with her kids. “I’ve had to have some conversations, explaining recent events to my oldest children recently,” she wrote. “You can imagine how heart wrenching it has been. I’m grateful to The Child Mind Institute, for guiding me. I’m grateful to my friend, Anne, for encouraging me to reach out to them.”

Aside from the non-profit organization and the guidance from her friend, Baldwin got relatable about what it’s like to parent children when you’re not fully sure how to handle a situation yourself. “Sometimes, I just freeze, knowing I’m the adult, who must guide my family, but so lost as what the right direction is,” she wrote. “There is no manual we are provided. Sometimes I catch myself, surprised that I’m in the adult position and I’m like: shouldn’t I know what to do??”

Baldwin ended her note with a message for her followers. “You have no idea how much all of your kindness, love, and support mean,” she said. “Yes, you who are reading this. I know how lucky I am to have you.”

On another slide, Baldwin provided a book she has been reading to help her cope. “This book is a great help to explain adult emotions to children,” she wrote over a picture of the book, It’s Okay to Not be Okay: Adults Get Big Feelings Too by Danielle Sherman-Lazar.

Before you go, check out these celebrity parents who get honest with their kids about racism: 

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